If you’ve recently lost a loved one and are navigating the process of choosing a headstone or grave marker, you’re not alone—and you’re not expected to know all the answers. For most people, this is something they’ll only do once in their lifetime. It can be emotional, unfamiliar, and at times overwhelming.
At Northland, we believe in making the process as supportive, clear, and stress-free as possible. This guide is here to walk you through the important first steps so you feel informed and confident about the choices ahead.
Step 1: Start with the Cemetery’s Guidelines
Before you browse designs or think about inscriptions, your first step should be reaching out to the cemetery. Every cemetery has specific rules and requirements regarding:
- Headstone type and size
- Permitted materials (like granite or bronze)
- Colors and finishes
- Installation processes
- Inscription styles or limitations
Some cemeteries only allow flat markers to maintain uniformity, while others may permit upright monuments, slanted markers, or even memorial benches. Knowing the rules upfront will save time and help you avoid designs that aren’t allowed.
If this feels like a lot to manage, don’t worry—we can help with this part. Our team is happy to contact the cemetery on your behalf and confirm the requirements.
Step 2:Choose the Type of Headstone or Marker
Once you understand what the cemetery allows, you can start considering the type of memorial that feels right for your loved one.
Common Types Include:
- Upright Monuments: These are the traditional standing headstones you often see in cemeteries. They offer more space for custom inscriptions, religious symbols, or images.
- Flat Markers: Also known as grass markers, these lay flush with the ground or are slightly raised. They’re simple, elegant, and often required in memorial parks.
- Slant Markers: A middle ground between upright and flat markers. Slanted at an angle for visibility but lower in profile.
- Benches or Custom Designs: For a more personalized approach, memorial benches or unique monument shapes can be considered. These are ideal for families looking for something distinct.
We’ll help you weigh the pros and cons of each type, taking the cemetery rules, aesthetics, and budget into account.
Step 3: Decide What You Want It to Say
This part is deeply personal. The words on a headstone are a lasting tribute to your loved one. It’s okay if you don’t know exactly what to write yet—many families start with a few key ideas and build from there.
Common elements include:
- Full name
- Birth and death dates
- Meaningful quotes, verses, or phrases
- Religious symbols or icons
- Images or engravings (flowers, military emblems, hobbies, etc.)
Take your time. Some families involve multiple relatives in the decision. Others prefer something very simple and serene. There’s no “right way”—only what feels right for you.
Our design team can help take your ideas and turn them into a layout that’s both beautiful and respectful.
Step 4: Set a Budget That Works for You
Cost is often one of the most stressful parts of the process, but it doesn’t have to be. Headstones and markers come in a range of styles and price points depending on:
- Material (e.g., granite is usually more affordable than marble)
- Size and shape
- Customization level
- Installation costs
At Northland, we believe in full transparency with pricing. We’ll explain the factors that affect cost and offer you clear options so you can make a decision without pressure.
Whether you’re looking for a simple flat marker or a unique custom monument, we’ll work with your budget and never push you toward something you’re not comfortable with.
Step 5: Work with a Local Team You Can Trust
Choosing a memorial isn’t just a transaction—it’s a meaningful process. That’s why it’s so important to work with a compassionate team who understands what you’re going through.
At Northland, we’re not here to sell. We’re here to listen, guide, and help you create something that honors your loved one’s life with dignity and care. Our team handles everything from:
- Design and personalization
- Communication with the cemetery
- Permits and scheduling
- Professional installation
You can take your time, ask questions, and lean on us for support. This process doesn’t have to feel rushed or confusing. We’re here for you every step of the way.
Final Thoughts
Choosing a headstone or marker for someone you love is a deeply meaningful act. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming or confusing—with the right support, it can be a peaceful and thoughtful process.
At Northland Companies, our role is to guide you with clarity, empathy, and experience. You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need a team that listens and cares.
If you’re ready to get started—or simply want to talk things through—reach out anytime. We’re here when you’re ready.
Frequently Asked Questions About Choosing a Headstone or Marker
How do I choose a headstone?
Start by checking the cemetery’s rules for size, style, and material. Then consider the type of marker, the inscription you’d like, and your budget. Working with a trusted local memorial provider can help simplify the process.
What is the average cost of a nice headstone?
The cost of a quality headstone typically ranges from $1,500 to $5,000, depending on the material, size, customization, and installation fees. Simple flat markers cost less, while upright monuments or custom designs are more expensive.
What does leaving a coin on a grave mean?
Leaving coins on a grave is a symbolic gesture, often used to show respect or remembrance. In military tradition, different coins represent varying levels of connection, such as having served with the deceased or simply paying a visit.
What is the proper etiquette for grave markers?
Proper etiquette includes respecting cemetery rules, avoiding damage or changes to someone else’s memorial, and keeping the area tidy. Adding flowers or small tokens is usually welcomed, but permanent additions should be approved.
What is the most popular gravestone?
Upright granite headstones are the most popular due to their classic look, durability, and customization options. They provide enough space for inscriptions, symbols, and designs that reflect the life of the person being remembered.
What determines the cost of a headstone?
Several factors affect the cost: the type and size of the stone, the material (granite, bronze, etc.), the complexity of the design or engraving, and cemetery installation fees. Custom shapes or artwork typically raise the price.
What is the difference between a gravestone and a headstone?
The terms are often used interchangeably, but traditionally, a headstone marks the head of the grave, while a gravestone can refer more generally to any stone placed on a grave. Today, both terms refer to the same thing.
Which way should a headstone face on a grave?
In many traditions, headstones face east, symbolizing the direction of the rising sun and resurrection. However, orientation can vary based on cultural, religious, or cemetery-specific practices.
Are grave markers cheaper than headstones?
Yes, grave markers—especially flat markers—are generally more affordable than upright headstones. They use less material and involve simpler installation, making them a cost-effective option for many families.
Who has the right to put a headstone on a grave?
Typically, the next of kin or the person listed on the burial rights or cemetery deed has the legal authority to place a headstone. Cemeteries may also require signed consent or documentation before installation.